Wednesday, December 28, 2016

In which the editor tries to make up for lack of posts with muchisimos photos....



I´m glad i got to see everyone yesterday, even though i did feel a little out of it and i feel like i didn´t say much. i´d like to do a redo honestly. I was really sad yesterday, i feel like i didn´t say anything of importance, and then we went to our ward mission leader´s house afterwards and i dunno, i like him and his wife (his wife is an angel) Ruben and Sara but i dunno, i was just in a funk because i didn´t get to say goodbye that all their jokes that they made just got under my skin and i just wanted to leave. I´m almost sort of relieved christmas is over wheich has never happened to me but i just want things to go back to normal honestly. i´ve been kind of in a funk lately this transfer. things are good then things are bad my companion is amazing but sometimes she makes me feel bad without meaning to. She´s going home this transfer, and she´s been hermana leader basically her whole mission and honestly she is amazing. life has chewed her up and spit her out but she´s still happy and doesn´t milk her dramatic past tyring to get sympathy like sometimes people do. there´s a bee that is bugging me in the internet place so hopefully i dono´t get stung. 
 okay now it´s gone. 

but president has been talking tome a lot about my faith and my prayers and stuff and i feel just sort of....stuck. in every sense of the word. i miss you. i can´t wait for may either. i love being a missionary it´s just i feel like i´m not very good at it. i don´t want to write to president i don´t know what to say. i just sort of want to go home. which is bad. because i´m sure when i´m home i´ll want to go back on the mission. 

this is in the villa iluminada which is famous here in atlixco. it´s like a fair and there´s a TON of christmas lights, and for the first time in history president gave us permission to go, from six to eight, not to proselyte or anything just to go. so we went with Dana and Meli (melissa) and their mom, a less active and two little girls who we´re prepping for baptism.

Last Week's email, in which Tory has a stint as a Hipster Model:

hermana peynado being my model

downtown atlixco

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quaint streets of atlixco

hipstering it up

alone on the love bench

supposedly these are roses but they looked like brains to me.

 This transfer has been good and bad. mostly good. it´s just the same battle that i think i´ve always had. well...i´ve had a few different ones honestly but the one i´ve been struggeling with a lot is feeling like a bad missionary. it´s not that i´m tired of being a missionary. that´s not why i´ve had a lot of moments that i wanted to go home. it´s that i´m tired of doing something i feel like i´m not good at. i know. i honestly i KNOW that baptisms aren´t sucess but it sure helps you feel sucessful when youvé got a few baptisms to report and you get to see your picture in the slideshow at zone conferences. There´s a lot of things that I feel like I know it´s just getting them from my head into my heart that it is proving to be harder than I thought. Believing those things that i know and i´ve always known. president was like ´i feel like you came onto the mission with a little seed of a testimony and i want to know how that´s growing´ and he´s very concerned with my prayers an if i´m learning how to get awnswers to my questions but my problem is i can´t even phrase my questions to myself let alone Heavenly Father. I just feel like I don´t even have time to properly pray. my prayers just end up being a long stream of me passing over my day in my head and thinking ´i´m so tired. why am i so tired all the time??? what am i going to do tomorow in our lesson with dana and meli? what am i gonna do with my life? what is the word for blowfish in spanish? who is older? jeff or melissa?' ect. (also i seriously don´t know how is older jeff or melissa. i also couldn´t remember for a lon time if andy´s full name was andrew or if it was just andy.....but my comp right now is amazing. life has chewed her up and spitten her out and yet here she is dying to be here a little longer (this is her last transfer) and i´m sometimes dying to be in her place leaving. she´s superwomen of missionary work. she´s a spectacular teacher and just so great at it all that i just am terrified what am i going to do without her next transfer????? president has high expectations. he told me that he thought REAL hard about who was going to be her last companion. he said i earned it,being her comp and that after being with her missionaries just ´flourish´ and i´m just like 😓 well i might shrivel up and die so....don´t get your hopes up prezzi. 

i miss you. i´ve been having a lot of weird extestential moments lately where i feel out of my own body kind of experiences. like i´ve been hermana mills for so long i don´t even know if i can be Tory again. or if they´re even different people. i look in the mirror and i´m just like. ´.....who is that even?´ My hair is LONG. okay, not that long but it´s definetly longer. I´m twenty years old. I speak spanish and walk into complete stranger´s houses on a daily basis. i´m living in MEXICO. EXTESTENTIAL CRISIES ABOUND. but whatever extestintial crises i´m gald you´re my sister. i´m glad i was born a mills and that i was born when i was and i for one am glad taht you went on a mission because without you i don´t know if i would have thought about it. maybe. probs not. 

Monday, December 12, 2016

In which the old ladies are angry....

So apperently, the twelth of december is HAPPY VIRGIN OF GUADALUPE DAY. I HATE IT. there are so many random explosions and i´m not sure why and a really good tamale place wasn´t open so i still haven´t gotten to try tamales with nutella. it´s not in our area and they sell out super fast so we could only go Monday. nutella tamales sound very interesting and maybe gross but hey. yomo. you only mexico once. Even so some times I get distracted thinking of home when i´m in comvis getting glared down by the little old catholic ladies carrying there little statues and a ton of flowers for their offering to the virgen guadalupe.

Being glared at  by them  makes me question my whole future. I´m not going to have any friends when I get back. Well, actually i´ll have a lot but they´re from honduras argentina and tampico mexico so....... that´s helpful. Really though, i´m a little worried about that. I literally will ahve no one. I'm going to end up a grumpy old mexican lady who glares at people on trains. halp. also, we have a bunch of people in this ward who could get baptized tomorrow but they don´t want to, or they wont´. i don´t know why. but they just won´t. there´s one who goes to the temple with her husband and she´s perfectly happy in the visiters center and she loves ith but she can´t give up drinking and there´s a doctor who will cite verses from the book of mormon but doesn´t believe in joseph do I do about that????

i also don´t know what to write pte.stellmon ever but we had interviews and it´s crazy how well he knows me considering i feel like i hardly ever talk to him. He was like ´you´ve got a non conformist personality that can do AMAZING things if you can learn how to conform to the will of the lord and let His will become your will. On the other hand, non conformist personalities can cause a world of trouble and doubt in a family so watch it´ (en pocas palabras) ....aight president. thanks for that. now what do i do with that?!

On a side note, so we don't end with that pronouncement of potential doom. there´s an ice cream flavor here called beso de angel and i said today ´puedo probar lo de beso de angel´ and then i realized waht i said and was like ´i hope there´s not chavos around here named angel or things are gonna get real awkward real fast´

Monday, December 5, 2016

In which Tory is a vampire...

So, Atlixco. It´s good. My area is huge (shocker) there´s lots of little pueblos. Atlixco itself is a ´city´ but it´s not very big. I think apart from Ometoxtla, Cholula, it´s my smallest area in terms of being a city or not. I said goodbye to walmart and little ceasers back in Tehucan 😥 also my new apartment is super tiny and the bathroom always smells weird, even after hermana Peynado scrubbed it from top to bottom today. But we bought some airfreshners and we´ve been sticking them all over the place so hopefully.....fingers crossed. But I like it. It´s cute. Next week I´ll have some pictures for y´all. (I´ve also decided i´m going to become southern, hence y´all.) It´s like a mexican version of a snow white cottage (although thankfully free of dwarves and the altoate guerita sí cabe so we´re good). it´s kind of funny cuz on our street, our two next door nieghbors have enormous gorgeous houses then smashed inthe middle is our shoebox of an apartment. Our neighbors are all members so it´s all good with that.

My street is full of stars, our ward mission leader has been on national geographic before, his brother, our other nieghbor is was a memeber of the 70 and there´s an article about them in a liahono from forever ago. (but just the pages pertaining to mexico but still, cool). The only thing is our ward mission leader is kind of.....cold. he´s insanely smart but he says we need to ditch our investigators who have drinking problems or who aren´t married (ie, 70% of our investigators) and find new people. Which, i mean we always need to be finding new people but still, doesn´t mean we have to give up on the old ones. I mean....we don´t have anyone who is progressing yet but, ay vamos. we´re getting there.

we´ve also started ´tracting´, but not really tracting because wére not allowed BUT, we can if we have a member with us, and that member is Hermana Oli, or Oliva (olive in english) she´s eighty three years old and she comes with us ALL THE TIME. Seriously, she´ll just walk the streets of our little pueblos with us stopping people in the street and being like ´hey you joven, stop what you´re doing and listening to these nice girls there gonna talk to you about jesus.´. She´s THE BEST. She´s so cute I love her so much, i´m going to name my daughter after her She lives alone but she´s super independent and super cute and i want to be hna oli when I grow up. She´s got such a strong testimony, and we´ve found quite a few new investigators thanks to her. it´s just getting them to progress that´s the problem. Hno. Ruben our Ward mission leader will also do that with us sometimes, he´ll just take us around the his neighborhood and bang on his friends doors and be like ´hey open up you guys need the gospel in your life´. He´s a fireball. 

I Think that´s all I got for right now...oh, and that some crazy old lady in one of our pueblitos called us vampires. We were looking for her son who is a less active and we asked if she´d seen missionaries like us before and she was like ´yes but you´re just vampires who go around sucking the life out of people.´ solo son vampiros, andando y chupando la sangre de la gente.´

alrighty then. merry christmas to you too crazy old lady. Oh, and my bishop was Bishop Sanders for a while but then this sunday my ward boundries got changed and he no longer lives in our ward 😢which was a shame cuz he seemed cool. well, the one time i met him. But, that´s all I got. Hope all is well back on the homestead and with luck next week i´ll have some investigators with a baptismal date to chat about.

Lots of love,

hermana mills.

I can see Popo again

I had avocado ice cream today...not too bad. actually it was pretty dang good. 

me and hna p in el centro today blowing some pesitos in el marcado and such. Atlixco is actually pretty cool.